Wednesday, August 26, 2015
About a year ago my daughter made the comment that she felt like she didn't get enough time to talk with me. At first, I felt defensive. I thought something along the lines of, "What?! I devote everyday to you and your brothers. You guys have all my time!" But, after a couple of minutes, I then thought, "She wouldn't have brought it up if she didn't feel this way. What do I need to do?" So, over the next couple of weeks, I racked my mind for ideas. There was one idea that kept coming back to my mind over and over again. I finally thought it must be my answer and that I better do it. I decided to write my children messages.
Now, these messages are not to take the place of one on one conversation. I'm still trying to be better at giving my children individual time to talk with me. These messages are only meant to send my kids love and encouragement until we can talk.
I bought each of my children a simple notebook. In their notebooks, I write notes about what I love about them, what special talents I notice in them and my gratitude for something they accomplished recently. I also write advice. Sometimes I'll have a conversation with one of my children and I'll leave thinking, "That didn't come out right." Or, "Oh, I forgot to mention this." In those moments, I'll get out their notebook and will write my follow-up thoughts. My children's notebooks are a way to share stories with them, too. All my kids enjoyed the time when I wrote to each of them about their birth story. There is something so exciting about reading when you came into this world!
My messages aren't too long. Just a paragraph or two. I write in their notebooks about once or twice a month. It really doesn't take too much time, but I've noticed the impact is huge! I place their notebooks on their beds and wait to hear their squeals of delight when they discover their latest messages.
And, sometimes my kids even write me back. This message is from my 7 year-old. "I adore you mom! Thank you mom!"